


I Knew You (Tried to Change the Ending)

by WednesdaysDaughter



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternative Lives, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Anakin Skywalker is Not a Jedi, Angst and Feels, Crèche Master Anakin Skywalker, Different Endings, F/M, Family Feels, Fix-It of Sorts, Force-Sensitive Shmi Skywalker, Good Parent Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala Lives, Qui-Gon Jinn Lives, References to Mortis Arc (Star Wars: The Clone Wars), Shmi Skywalker Lives, Tatooine Slave Culture (Star Wars), The Force is Sentient (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29119476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WednesdaysDaughter/pseuds/WednesdaysDaughter
Summary: Shmi does not expect to survive being a slave, but she knows Anakin will. His destiny is among the stars and green planets with wildlife she can scarcely imagine. Her dreams are filled with blaster fire and last-minute escapes, but they fade in morning’s harsh light until the day Anakin brings the Jedi home.This is how it starts; in this universe and the next and the next and the next.
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 8
Kudos: 133
Collections: The_Newbie's Star Wars Fanfic





	I Knew You (Tried to Change the Ending)

**Author's Note:**

> Think Bad Wolf but it's The Force. Okay so I know when Anakin is shown the future by Brother that he sees his fall to the dark side BUT WHAT IF he also could've seen potential futures/paths he took in different lives? huh, huh *nudge* 
> 
> I'm sure someone's done this before but TCW has completely consumed me and instead of working on the 9 Teen Wolf WIPs I found from 2014/2015 or the Doctor Who WIP I started two years ago OR the Hobbit WIP I started last month I decided I needed to write this instead.
> 
> So strap in - my first venture into a new fandom is always wild.

_Where am I?_

It is happening all at once, across a hundred lifetimes.

Blistering sands stir beneath its pressure until storms strip the life from unsuspecting stragglers. No one cares how slaves multiply as long as their stock is strong and can work, so as she grows heavy with life Shmi Skywalker breathes beneath binary suns and dreams of her son’s eyes. Pushed and pulled, from planet to planet and slaver to slaver she is guided by a persistent nudge until her body gives.

Her walkabout is met with life, something her mind struggles to wrap itself around as his tiny fingers wrap around her own. His naked body hums with it, sings a wordless melody as old as time in her steady arms. When Anakin cries the winds howl in reply – the ground beneath her feet rumbles a lullaby until the swaying mobile made of animal bones trades tears for laughter.

Questions around his mysterious father are traded between groups of slaves, until Shmi is regarded with a healthy mix of reverence and trepidation. Tales of savage goddesses and martyred runners are told to all who find themselves on Tatooine. There is no answer she could offer to assuage them so the Skywalker name joins with local legends long before Anakin can walk.

The sun does not scorch Anakin’s tender head, though Shmi does not give it many opportunities as she works through the day. Dark brown cloth covers his precious flesh and he sleeps cradled by frayed cloth against her sweaty chest. In the market the women coo at his smile which rivals the closest stars with its brilliance and additional rations are slipped up Shmi’s weathered sleeves.

She cannot speak to the intentions of the tendrils which swirl around her son, bold like Tusken raiders with its commanding presence. Deep in the night Shmi curls her body around his and he babbles to the galaxy as if it could hear his voice amongst the nebulas far away. Treading lightly upon an unknown ocean, Shmi tries to listen – strains her ears in hopes of hearing intelligence in the winds which come day by day. She is met with silence and wonders if she is better for it.

There is a renewed strength in her bones as they bear the brunt of Anakin’s weight when he asks to be carried: She would carry him the length of Tatooine and beyond if he asked.

There is a rekindled spark in her eyes as they watch Anakin when he plays – falling and bleeding and then rising: She would wrap him in the strongest cloth if it would keep him safe.

There is a reincarnated fear fermenting like spoiled food beneath her ribs which churns when Anakin touches a podracer for the first time: She would run if it would not kill them both.

Shmi knows the cruelty of slavers and the kindness of oblivion after the whip has cracked skin. Children can be torn from their parents and even if she had not lived that reality she’d seen it many times before. Gardulla threatened to roast her son over a spit if he kept her from working and something ferocious nearly choked Shmi – it was dark and possessive in its insistence to be heard by the crime lord. The impulse and its words died in Shmi’s throat and she worked harder than she had in her life.

Watto is harsh in different ways, but perhaps it is Anakin’s handiness with odd bit and bobs which stays his violent tongue. He’s quick with a cane, but rarely uses it on her when Anakin is around – it is an unexpected kindness though she is not foolish enough to think it is on purpose. You do not thank the monster beneath your bed for not eating you today because its intensions have not changed.

Shmi does not expect to survive being a slave, but she knows Anakin will. His destiny is among the stars and green planets with wildlife she can scarcely imagine. Her dreams are filled with blaster fire and last-minute escapes, but they fade in morning’s harsh light until the day Anakin brings the Jedi home.

This is how it starts; in this universe and the next and the next and the next.

_I have brought you back to my monastery._

Qui-Gon Jinn does not die at the hands of Darth Maul.

His insistence borders on insolence, but he is granted permission to train Anakin in the ways of the Jedi. Determined to provide the child with all the support he can, Qui-Gon finds himself listening to Anakin’s stories of home and dreams of freeing his mother. He is not blind to the way Anakin’s emotions rule his actions, but his leniency feels less like a flaw and more like mercy.

Meditation was not his strong suite when he was a padawan, but he endeavors to encourage Anakin to thrive in the silence of his own mind. Their bond formed is that akin to a child and their father; both of them clinging to their own beliefs of fate and destiny to care of the bond’s liability.

Anakin remembers the dismissal of the Jedi Council and finds acceptance in Qui-Gon’s presence. Obi-Wan is a constant presence in their lives, and Anakin calls him ‘brother’ in his mind. When he feels the eyes of the other masters on him, Anakin thinks of sand dunes and hot suns until the anxiety has calmed and he can face them without fear in his heart.

He makes his master proud as he rehearses form after form until his lightsaber becomes weightless in his hands. It sings in his belt, a faint tune that only he can hear. It reminds Anakin of being a child, as if he’s known the song his whole life.

“It is an extension of yourself Anakin,” Qui-Gon says when Anakin returns from the cave, “to lose it is to lose a part of you.”

His braid tickles his neck in the middle of the night when he wakes from nightmares. His mother’s sobs morph into his own and he shakes until the sun can be seen on the horizon. Anakin is hesitant to bring his terrors into the light of day, but while on their way to meet with Senator Amidala the words tumble from his nervous lips. Qui-Gon listens, never interrupting as Anakin recounts his mother’s death.

“When we have discovered who is plotting to kill the Senator we’ll return to Tatooine. The force has granted you this vision for a reason Anakin. Let us see to its will.”

The relief Anakin feels carries him through his reunion with Padmé and his tongue doesn’t feel clumsy in his mouth as he says she’s as angelic as ever. She laughs, remembering that day they first met, and the atmosphere is light in spite of the circumstances.

The war still happens, but not before Anakin bypasses Naboo in favor of home. Shmi is weak, but alive as Padmé insists on taking her to receive proper medical care. Anakin falls in love with her and her planet all over again, but this time his eyes are those of a man and not a child. The lush greenery speaks to Anakin; the planet bursting with the gentle side of the force which welcomes him home.

Padmé kisses Anakin on her balcony and again as they’re wheeled into the arena. Shmi and Qui-Gon stand as witnesses with two droids before the war sends them down different paths. Anakin meditates the way his master showed him whenever he leaves the Chancellor’s presence and trains with Ahsoka when her Master, Obi-Wan, is sleeping off another injury. They run headfirst into danger, this constant does not change, and Rex is hot on their heels every single time – another constant.

He treads shallow waters, delving deep enough to see his men home when the battles get tough, but surfacing before the darkness’ pull gets too strong. There are moments it feels as if it would consume him, the very force which brought him and Qui-Gon together, but his master’s own disillusions with their order is louder than any insidious whisper.

“We are peacekeepers Anakin, and somehow I hold the title of General in a war we should not be fighting.”

“I agree Master, but if we don’t fight who will protect the innocent? Those who cannot stand up to Count Dooku and Grievous?”

Anakin watches Qui-Gon survey the hallway as people pour out in droves from the latest Senate gathering. It felt more like a circus than a political gathering of minds, but Padmé assured him that the two weren’t so different. He can feel the weight of someone’s stare and when he turns he cannot pinpoint the culprit. Qui-Gon senses Anakin’s unease and takes it as his own before laying a firm hand on his padawan’s shoulder.

“The Jedi are being manipulated and I fear it is too late to stop what is coming.”

This path is a puzzle with mismatched pieces, which swap places every now and again.

_What happened?_

The Jedi Council denies Obi-Wan’s request.

Before panic can set in, an unexpected solution presents itself and Obi-Wan escorts Anakin back to Naboo. The transport is quiet, most of the fellow travelers sleeping or too absorbed in their personal lives to pay attention to a Jedi with a child.

“They don’t want me,” Anakin says to his lap and Obi-Wan isn’t sure how to soothe the child without lying or making things worse. His silence speaks louder than any words ever could and Anakin nods as if he’d been told what weather to expect.

It breaks Obi-Wan’s heart to see his acceptance. “I guess it won’t be so bad going home,” Anakin muses, “at least I get to see my mom.”

It sounds like he’s trying to offer Obi-Wan comfort and it’s so unexpected it makes the Jedi chuckle in disbelief. Shaking his head, he reaches out and places a comforting hand on Anakin’s shoulder before setting him straight.

“Anakin, you’re not going back to Tatooine. Queen Amidala requested that you come live with her on Naboo.”

“Padmé wants me to live with her?”

There’s a faint dusting on Anakin’s suntan cheeks and this time when Obi-Wan laughs it’s born of fondness.

“Indeed she does. While I can’t speak to her reasoning, I am certain you will grow up wanting for nothing.”

Anakin studies Obi-Wan and his sudden enthusiasm dies like a wilted flower, “Maybe she needs someone to repair droids. I’m really good at that – even Watto would agree.”

“You’re not a slave anymore Anakin.”

Obi-Wan’s voice is firm and the conviction in his voice makes Anakin’s heart beat a hopeful rhythm against his ribs until he nods. The rest of the journey is spent trading stories and Obi-Wan lets Anakin hold his lightsaber. It doesn’t vibrate in harmony beneath Anakin’s skin like his own would, but it recognizes the force in his fingertips. For a moment Obi-Wan worries that Anakin will light it, but he simply studies it until he is satisfied.

“If I can’t be a Jedi and I’m not a slave, what am I?”

Obi-Wan isn’t sure who he is angrier at, his deceased master or the Jedi Council. He cannot say if Qui-Gon was right about Anakin being the ‘chosen one’ and even so that’s a ridiculous amount of pressure to put on a child. However he’s not so detached that he cannot sense a power within Anakin that, if properly cultivated, could lead to great things.

“Not all force-sensitive beings are Jedi,” he begins, “There are some who do not subscribe to the philosophies of the Jedi and follow the force down different paths.”

“Are they bad people?” Anakin asks hesitantly.

“Some are, yes. Those who utilize the dark side of the force are called Sith. However, I’m speaking more of those who are guided by the light. These individuals become healers, priests, and even leaders for their people. The Jedi are not the first to wield the force and we will not be the last.”

Anakin turns Obi-Wan’s words over and over in his head until the ship jolts as it enters the atmosphere. He peeks out to watch the ground race to meet them and he makes out a handful of people waiting on the platform. He recognizes Sabé and turns to tell Obi-Wan that they’re waiting for him.

“Of course they are Anakin, I’m certain they’re very excited to see you.”

Anakin’s not used to that and his face must say so because Obi-Wan’s smile is soft, his hand even softer as it envelops Anakin’s.

“They will help you find your path in this life. I will also help any way that I can.”

“You will?”

Anakin’s excitement is infectious and Obi-Wan assures him that he can call whenever he wants. He promises to visit as often as his duties allow as well. Boneless with relief, Anakin sinks into his seat until the ship settles and his nerves threaten to overwhelm him once more. Obi-Wan continues to hold Anakin’s hand and doesn’t let go until Sabé takes over.

“Thank you for seeing him here safely Jedi Kenobi.”

“It was my pleasure.

Anakin looks back five times before he is beyond Obi-Wan’s sight and each time plucks painfully at Obi-Wan’s heartstrings. He feels as if something grand has just slipped beyond his reach, but in that same breath he knows with utter certainty that it’s for the better.

Years later when he is tasked with protecting Senator Amidala he sees the confident man Anakin has become; blaster secured to his hip and arms wide before they embrace Obi-Wan. He does not miss the way he and Padmé orbit each other like a planet and her moon and he releases the breath he’s been holding for ten years.

This story is a fairytale, which gets stronger with every retelling.

_My son broke the laws of time and showed you what you never should have seen._

Mace Windu is the first to make the suggestion.

Masters Plo Koon and Mundi share their thoughts two weeks later and when Master Yoda approaches him, Obi-Wan knows he is outnumbered. It’s not as though he disagrees with their assessment, far from it in fact. However, the thought of his padawan leaving his side so soon leaves him bereft and untethered. It is the ultimate test of a Jedi Master and for a moment he dreads his attachment to Anakin will brand him a failure.

Though he supposes his actions in the face of his own Master’s death did that long ago.

He almost suspects Anakin to put up a fight, but when Obi-Wan finds him playing with the younglings his doubt disappears in a puff of smoke. Anakin thrives beneath their attention, floating toys over their heads and chuckling as they jump over each other in hopes of grabbing a red ball.

It’s only when the ball is suddenly ripped from the air and into the palm of a grinning Togruta that Anakin burst into laughter.

“Good one Snips! I didn’t even sense you come in!”

“Obviously, Skyguy,” she tosses the ball to another youngling before settling on the floor next to him. “You also didn’t notice Master Kenobi.”

“Master!”

Anakin leaps to his feet, braid swinging so hard it smacks him across the face. Ahsoka tries to muffle her giggles in her palms, but when Anakin glares at her she knows she’s failed.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you Anakin,” Obi-Wan pacifies, but Anakin waves him away.

“I should’ve come looking for you sooner, but I heard Kai’li had a fever this morning and wanted to see how she was feeling.”

The youngling in question is bundled in the corner, wrapped in what Obi-Wan know is Anakin’s favorite cloak. The aura around his padawan is quiet and calm in a way it rarely is these days. He knows that the Council’s decision is for the best. Obi-Wan pulls Anakin into the hallway and when he tells him that their time is coming to an end he does not expect the embrace, but perhaps he should have.

“A crèche master? But I’m still a padawan.”

“The path of a Jedi Knight and Crèche Master are different and this is where their paths diverge. You’ll be training with Master Shaak Ti starting next week.”

Anakin’s eyes light up and Obi-Wan does not try to hide his grin, he knows how much Anakin respects Master Ti since she is often in charge of the younglings. Before Obi-Wan can fill Anakin in the nuances of his new role, a shadow falls upon them both and the shift in mood leaves Obi-Wan dizzy.

“If I am not to be a Jedi Knight, will you help me with one last thing, Master?”

There is heartbreak in the way Anakin says his title and Obi-Wan knows he will deny his padawan nothing in their final moments together. Their trip to Tatooine is a quick one and the Jedi Temple gains not one, but two guardians who look over the crèche. Obi-Wan ignores the displeased looks of his fellow Masters, because the cathartic tears Anakin wept as his mother held him close in that Tusken hut outweighs it all.

Having his mother happy and whole by his side lights Anakin up from deep within. The entire Jedi temple is awash with relief that everyone feels deep within their souls. Shmi brings with her cures from the desert that soothe homesickness and fever in equal measure. The healers bask in her soothing nature and she is rarely seen without a youngling or her son attached to her side.

When The Clone Wars begin and Master Ti leaves to oversee the clone program Anakin is suddenly forced to undergo the trials and he emerges a Master; protector of any and all youngling. They come from all walks of life and thrive under Anakin’s tutelage. He leads them in meditation and when Life Day comes every youngling has a gift waiting at the foot of their bed.

His lightsaber lights only when he practices his forms with Masters Fisto and Windu and they always comment on how seamless and fresh his forms remain even after months of disuse. It’s a point of quiet pride for both Anakin and Obi-Wan who see each other less and less as the war continues, but always make the most of the time they’re afforded in the interim.

Anakin is the first to suggest Obi-Wan for Ahsoka’s master and together the two of them visit as often as battle permits. The first time they see Senator Amidala and Anakin stealing a moment for themselves in a quiet corner, Obi-Wan hands Ahsoka fifteen credits and mourns for his financial status when he realizes how much he owes Cody and Rex.

This life hurts the least, so it happens only once.

_I don’t remember._

Leia knows she has a mother and a brother.

When her father goes far away she plays with Uncle Ben who tells her stories from the war. Anakin doesn’t physically leave; he just stands by the window when the stars are bright above their heads as if looking for someone. She’s learned to recognize the bad days, but there are fewer of them now that she’s older.

At least, that’s what Uncle Ben says.

When night falls, Leia steals into her father’s room to look at the holo of her mother. Blue light fills the space she’s carved out for herself at the foot of Anakin’s bed and Leia takes in the gentle smile on her mother’s face. In her arms is Luke, her twin brother who grins in spite of missing his two front teeth. It makes Leia smile though tears race silently down her face.

“You should be in bed my little womp rat.”

Leia cannot summon the strength to speak choosing instead to turn and curl into her father’s warm chest. She tries very hard to be as strong a kyber crystal because she doesn’t want to add to his grief, but some nights Leia is too sad to be anything but. Anakin wraps his arms around her tight as if she would dare attempt to leave the safety of his embrace, and props his back against the cool wall.

He can feel Obi-Wan’s presence in the spare room sleeping as soundly as he can while in hiding from the Empire. 

Shmi once told Anakin when he was Leia’s age that when he was sad the earth would move beneath her feet as if it were rocking him back to sleep. She said if his grief had been insurmountable the winds outside would howl into the night along with him so he would know he wasn’t alone. The force buzzes between them, gentle lightning providing warmth against the cold loneliness which threatens to harden into ice.

“I dream about her sometimes,” Leia confesses, snot running down her nose and crusting along Anakin’s skin.

“I do too; her and Luke both,” Anakin runs fingers through her thick brown hair. It doesn’t curl like Padmé’s, but that’s because the air is too dry on Tatooine. He wonders if they were on Naboo if it would then. Anakin does not like the ‘what if’ game because it hurts too much, but the last time they spoke Padmé soothed his sadness with hope.

“Sometimes I hear Luke in my head.”

Anakin takes a deep breath and lets his anxiety wash away beneath the beats of Leia’s heart against his and hums.

“Do you talk back to him?”

Leia is quiet as if waiting to be reprimanded for using the force when she knows how dangerous it is. When Anakin does not admonish her Leia opens the floodgates.

“He hates the stuffy clothing mom makes him wear and he says Uncle Bail is really nice, but has horrible taste in desserts. He likes to tinker with C3PO and mom says that means he’s just like you because you tinker with droids too.”

Anakin cannot help but laugh.

He laughs until he starts to cry and then Leia is crying thinking she did something bad and Anakin is too wound up to assure her that’s not the case. Their sobs wake R2D2 who then wakes Obi-Wan and suddenly Anakin’s room is full with concerned beeps and gentle touches.

It takes some time for them to calm down and the first thing Anakin does is tell Leia that he’s not upset that she speaks to Luke, or that she told him.

“However, you’re supposed to be studying with Obi-Wan on how to mute your abilities. I’m glad you two can connect and that your bond is already so strong that you can speak to each other, but it’s dangerous.”

“I’m sorry,” Leia sniffs, taking the rag from Obi-Wan to blow her nose.

Anakin kisses her head and stands, letting her wrap her legs around his hip.

“I know you are and I remember how difficult it was for me to control the force especially when my emotions were running wild. I promise you that your mother and I are working on ways for us to be together so please, be patient.”

Leia yawns through her nod and when Anakin lays her down in bed she is already asleep. He lingers long enough to secure her blanket around errant limbs and the second kiss he gives her tastes salty from her tears.

Obi-Wan is waiting outside ready to talk Anakin off the ledge he’s found himself on more and more these days. He doesn’t need the bond with his former padawan to sense the self-loathing radiating from Anakin and he’s already filling the tense silence with familiar platitudes.

“We agreed, all of us including Padmé, that this would be the best way to keep them safe.”

“And our children suffer for it. Tell me how this is better than…”

“Better than you turning to the dark side?”

“It almost happened anyway Obi-Wan – I was so close!”

“You broke free Anakin; you did that on your own. I shudder to think what would’ve happened if he had succeeded in turning you. Palpatine’s influence cannot reach you hear my friend: You are free.”

Anakin snorts, “I was never free Obi-Wan. I simply traded one owner for another.”

Obi-Wan’s pain is a sharp and brittle blade that plucks at their bond, but the truth of Anakin’s words eventually settles the hurt until it bruises. There is no apology given and no apology is needed between the two of them after everything they had endured. Obi-Wan’s shoulders brush against Anakin’s and they breathe in time until a shaky peace settles over them.

Binary suns peek over the horizon and the sky in a brilliant display of pink and orange.

“I heard from Ahsoka, she says Rex found a place.”

Anakin looks over and sees the familiar twinkle in Obi-Wan’s eyes and his lips curl. They touch down on Takodana three weeks later and Anakin has barely set foot on solid ground before a child slams into him.

“Father!”

Leia speeds past Anakin into the arms of Padmé who is the most beautiful creature Anakin has ever seen even with red eyes and tear tracks staining her pink cheeks. R2 and C3PO gather together on the side but Anakin can barely see anything other than his wife and daughter reunited for the first time since the twins were born. Luke’s smile makes him smile and soon father and son are giggling hysterically, with Luke’s arms wrapped tightly around Anakin’s neck as if he would disappear at any second.

Obi-Wan greets Ahsoka and Rex, who stand with Cody and the remainder of the 501st and they watch with tender hearts and wet eyes as Anakin walks over to Padmé and pulls her into a desperate kiss; squishing the kids between them but they don’t mind.

The force sings both exuberant and melancholy in equal measure. This is the ending it wanted, the ending its child deserved.

_I have erased that time._

_We shall never know…_

**Author's Note:**

> I read this post on Tumblr a while ago about how the Force is less like "two sides of the same coin" and more like the ocean in that the deeper and deeper you go the more likely you are to succumb to the pressure of The Dark Side and WOW that slaps. I love the SW fandom so much because of the constantly changing/growing/discovery of theories about the Force and stuff. 
> 
> So I wanted Shmi to be aware, but not too aware and thus less of a target for the Force to lure into its depths. I liked giving it a kinda personality in that sometimes its gentle and happy other times is scary and creepy as fuck.
> 
> Also, I had no idea how to write Qui-Gon so sorry if I kriffed that up at all. I wanted to dedicate the same amount of work to each alt!life, but some spoke louder than others. Though I kinda do wanna explore Creche Master Anakin more so that could be a thing. Also might mess around and explain how Anakin and them got out alive with the kids and how Order 66 CAN SUCK IT - leave my boys alone. 
> 
> But yeah, also I do not regret the TSwift lyrics. So much of Folklore/Evermore gives me TCW feels like omg and the edits I've seen on Tumblr. Y'all really out here doing God's work, bless.
> 
> I hope this didn't suck~


End file.
